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Friend For All God

by Good Air

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1.
I wonder if I warm up my countenance Will the coldness inside me make my soul condense Like the Devil's breath? You could scrape it off me Like sweat after sex or tree bark Like cigarettes ashed in the park Collected in drains You needed a friend for all god or demon A reason living ain't easy, and I did too But I'm wasting my precious time wasted on what? Anxiety's cheaper than bud And spins just the same And you... I thought it would have been nice to have been you I thought it would have been nice to have been in you I thought I could be less simple minded But it's true I guess my head is just meant to be split in two I think I'm alone when I'm with you Says more about me than you I'm well aware that no useful place exists there The ironic home of Good Air You summer sun, you gym for my heart and my lungs I promised you I couldn't come In my empty cage at the zoo And you... I thought it would have been nice to have been you I thought it would have been nice to have been in you I thought I could be less simple minded But it's true My head is meant to be split in fucking two I think I'm alone when I'm with you Says more about me than you I wonder if I warm up my countenance Will the coldness inside me make my soul condense Like the Devil's breath?
2.
I'd pen the words but the ink's not red Looping through my head, every word you said Beneath a sky wet blood would dry I've been thinking (I'd been drinking) I'd die I cut the pillow wide open Pin a beetle in the sunrise Honorary biologist declares: "What's life but fucking on the stairs?" And when your will to live's broken Or dependent on a blue line Even my psychologist is scared "Give love" she says, "when you can spare" I'm at the wheel but this shit won't drive A mechanized dream approximating being alive I loved sleeping with you, and you slept all day Sometimes I wish I just slept it all away I cut the pillow wide open Pin a beetle in the sunrise Honorary biologist declares: "What's life but fucking on the stairs?" And when your will to live's broken Or dependent on a blue line Even my psychologist is scared "Give love" she says, "when you can spare" I hit the wall when my nerves overrun Had to believe everything you said But in the morning in the light from a new sun I've lost it all. I'm free to crawl. I cut the memory wide open Pins and needles where the pain was Heartbreak-and-vodka impaired I'm trying my best but I'm pretty fucking scared And when your will to live's broken Lost your grip on the through-line Look past what you think is "fair" I swear to fucking God you'll find me there
3.
Sea Sulb 03:53
On this island of pain there's a tame wind She keeps busy under blood red lights She likes playing with my hair underwater And won my heart each time she's tried I'm yelling nightly at the storm clouds and goddamn I love it when they yell back We go on and on and on and on Until the dark is gone Tucked in deep, far from sleep Head vs a modest clout Sea or sand, I crave your hands Cradling or strangling I built this trust to be good for us Heed Death's plan by sea or sand Then she washed up on the shore looking human Naked save for the kelp clung on If sea could shape a woman out of thin air then... If flesh could be from water I could compare them She's feeling lonely on the long ride home and I know it won't get better even if I'm there to do all the things that made her who she was when she was air Now I got that brutal feeling I'm falling on my knees I tried to shape her nature But she's speaking Japanese "Anatano kokoroto asobunoga suki" And I'm still blind to everything I ever wanted to see Tucked in deep, far from sleep Head vs a modest clout Sea or sand, I crave your hands Cradling or strangling I built this trust to be good for us Heed Death's plan by sea or sand

credits

released May 6, 2022

written, performed, recorded and mixed by Stephen Marsiano
mastered by Mike Okusami
album art by Garrett Young

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Good Air Los Angeles, California

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